Is it Okay to Let My Baby Cry It Out? Bringing a new baby into the world is a joyous occasion, filled with tiny fingers, adorable coos, and…sleepless nights. It’s no surprise that exhausted parents often seek solutions to help their little ones (and themselves) get some much-needed rest. One of the most debated and often controversial methods is the “cry it out” (CIO) approach to sleep training.
But what exactly is the cry-it-out method, and more importantly, is it really okay to let your baby cry it out? Let’s delve into the research, the different perspectives, and the practical considerations to help you make an informed decision for your family.
What is the Cry-It-Out Method?
The cry-it-out method, also known as the extinction method, is a sleep training technique designed to help babies learn to self-soothe and fall asleep independently. The general idea is to put your baby to bed while they’re still awake and allow them to cry until they fall asleep. This means minimizing or eliminating parental intervention when the baby cries during the night.
- Extinction vs. Graduated Extinction: It’s important to distinguish between “extinction” and “graduated extinction” (also sometimes called “controlled crying”). Extinction, the traditional CIO method, involves no check-ins or comforting once the baby is put down. Graduated extinction, on the other hand, involves letting the baby cry for predetermined intervals before offering brief reassurance without picking them up.
- The Goal: The ultimate goal of the CIO method is for the baby to learn to self-soothe, meaning they can calm themselves down and fall back asleep without needing parental assistance. This, in turn, leads to longer stretches of sleep for both the baby and the parents. The aim is increased sleep for parents and reduced waking (or crying) at night for babies, with the presumption of improved infant sleep.
The Potential Benefits of Sleep Training (Including CIO)
While the idea of letting your baby cry can be distressing, proponents of sleep training, including the CIO method, highlight several potential benefits:
- Improved Sleep for Baby: Sleep training can lead to more consistent and longer sleep stretches for babies. This is crucial for their development, as sleep plays a vital role in cognitive function, physical growth, and emotional regulation.
- Better Sleep for Parents: Let’s face it: sleep deprivation can take a serious toll on parents’ mental and physical health. Sleep training can provide parents with much-needed rest, leading to improved mood, increased energy, and a better ability to care for their baby.
- Learning Self-Soothing Skills: The CIO method, in particular, is designed to teach babies how to self-soothe. This is a valuable skill that can benefit them throughout their lives, helping them to manage stress and regulate their emotions. Children learn how to self-soothe.
- Cognitive and Behavioral Benefits: Some experts believe that improved sleep can lead to cognitive and behavioral benefits for babies and young children.
- More Consistent Bedtimes: Sleep training can help establish a more predictable bedtime routine, making it easier to get your baby to sleep each night.
- Promotes Bonding: Better sleep for parents promotes bonding.
The Concerns and Criticisms Surrounding CIO
Despite the potential benefits, the CIO method is not without its critics. Many parents find the idea of letting their baby cry distressing, and some experts raise concerns about potential negative impacts.
- Emotional Distress for Parents: Listening to your baby cry can be incredibly difficult and emotionally draining for parents. It can trigger feelings of guilt, anxiety, and helplessness.
- Potential Impact on Attachment: One of the biggest concerns surrounding CIO is its potential impact on the parent-child attachment bond. Some worry that ignoring a baby’s cries could lead to feelings of abandonment and insecurity. However, studies have shown that sleep training does not threaten attachment. The largest randomized trial of sleep training found absolutely no difference in secure attachment between children who were sleep trained vs. not.
- Stress Response in Babies: Crying is a baby’s primary way of communicating their needs. Some argue that letting a baby cry for extended periods can trigger a stress response, potentially leading to long-term negative effects.
- Not Suitable for All Babies: The CIO method may not be appropriate for all babies, particularly those with certain medical conditions or temperaments.
What Does the Research Say About Sleep Training and Attachment?
The question of whether sleep training, particularly the CIO method, affects infant-parent attachment has been extensively researched. Fortunately, the available evidence suggests that it does not have a negative impact on secure attachment.
- No Long-Term Negative Effects: The Sleep Foundation states that sleep training is effective and offers significant benefits to both babies and parents, with no evidence of negative long-term effects.
- Studies Show No Impact on Attachment: A number of studies have investigated the relationship between sleep training and attachment. A recent study published looks at the impact of sleep training and attachment between parent and child. Of the few studies that have looked at the short- to longer-term outcomes of sleep training, none have found an effect on a baby’s attachment or mental health. The largest randomized trial of sleep training found absolutely no difference in secure attachment between children who were sleep trained vs. not.
- Attachment Security and Sleep: Research even suggests that attachment security correlated with higher sleep efficiency and lower rates of sleep problems.
Alternative Sleep Training Methods
If the CIO method feels too harsh, there are several alternative sleep training approaches you can consider:
- Graduated Extinction (Controlled Crying): As mentioned earlier, this method involves letting the baby cry for predetermined intervals before offering brief reassurance. The intervals gradually increase over time.
- Fading: This approach involves gradually reducing your involvement in your baby’s sleep routine. For example, if you rock your baby to sleep, you might start by rocking them until they’re drowsy but still awake, then gradually reduce the amount of rocking until they can fall asleep on their own.
- Pick-Up/Put-Down: This method involves picking up and comforting your baby when they cry, then putting them back down in the crib once they’re calm. You repeat this process as many times as necessary until the baby falls asleep.
- Chair Method: This involves sitting in a chair next to your baby’s crib until they fall asleep, gradually moving the chair further away from the crib each night until you’re out of the room.
Factors to Consider Before Implementing CIO (or Any Sleep Training Method)
Before deciding whether to use the CIO method or any other sleep training approach, it’s important to consider the following factors:
- Baby’s Age and Development: Most experts recommend waiting until a baby is at least 4-6 months old before starting sleep training.
- Baby’s Temperament: Some babies are more sensitive and may not respond well to the CIO method.
- Parental Preferences and Values: Ultimately, the decision of whether or not to use the CIO method is a personal one. Choose an approach that aligns with your parenting style and values.
- Consult with Your Pediatrician: It’s always a good idea to talk to your pediatrician before starting any sleep training program.
Conclusion: Is It Okay to Let Your Baby Cry It Out?
There’s no easy answer to the question of whether it’s okay to let your baby cry it out. The CIO method can be an effective way to help babies learn to self-soothe and improve their sleep, but it’s not without its drawbacks. The research suggests that sleep training doesn’t negatively impact attachment. Ultimately, the decision is a personal one that should be based on your baby’s individual needs, your parenting style, and your comfort level.
If you’re considering the CIO method, be sure to do your research, talk to your pediatrician, and be prepared to adjust your approach as needed. Remember, there’s no one-size-fits-all solution when it comes to sleep training. The most important thing is to create a safe, loving, and supportive environment for your baby to thrive.
References:
- What Is the Cry-It-Out Method of Sleep Training?.(health.clevelandclinic.org)
- ‘Cry It Out Method: Effective Baby Sleep Training Tips | Pampers’.(pampers.com)
- ‘Cry It Out Method: What to Know About Extinction Sleep Training’.(thebump.com)
- Things to Consider – Potential Costs of Sleep Training. (basisonline.org.uk)
- The Benefits of Sleep Training – Smart Sleep Coach by Pampers™.(smartsleepcoach.com)
- ‘Sleep Training: Definition & Techniques – Sleep Foundation’.(sleepfoundation.org)
- These are the pros and cons of sleep training, according to experts. (care.com)
- What really happens when babies are left to cry it out? – BBC. (bbc.com)
- A Systematic Review on Attachment and Sleep at Preschool Age. (pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov)
- ‘Sleep Training & Attachment: Facts’.(familysleepinstitute.com)
- ‘Sleep and Attachment: what the research says.’(infantsleepconsultant.co.uk)
- Does sleep training affect secure attachment? – Reddit. (reddit.com)
